114107344305821566
Of Wedding Rings and Deeper Things
I have, what i think to be a pretty strange view of marriage.
It stems from the fact that I don’t believe in “the one”. I’m not talking about Neo, I’m talking about that one person who you are destined to be with forever. Most people who hold that view conclude that you should never get married or if you do, you cannot have any reasonable expectation that you will be together forever.
I reach a different conclusion.
I don’t think that there’s one person out there who you are pre-destined to be with forever, and as such, I think that there are probably thousands of people on earth you are extremely compatible with. You will encounter maybe fifty of these people in your life. Most likely you will date at least one of them. It’s up to you, to decide who the person is going to be that you are going to spend your life with.
Deflection: Some Christian folks might get a little bit Calvinist-ic on me here, but I really don’t think that God forces upon you the person that you are going to marry. So many people say, “I know that God sent you to me.” And then when things go bad, “Well this marriage is hard and it hurts but this is the wife that God chose for me so I’m going to stick it out.” This makes the marriage a chore instead of an act of self will and unconditional love. It can also build resentment against God.
Back to my perspective.
Once you have decided that the person is the one you want to marry, that’s it. You have made a declaration to the world, that while there may be another person out there with other qualities that you find wonderful or other levels of compatibility, you are never going to leave the person you have committed to - irrespective of anything.
Marriage is the firm commitment to a person, to a relationship, to never give up hope, to never quit and to never give your heart to anyone else.
That’s my view. In that view, there is no flippancy about marriage. It is one of the most important commitments you can ever make, second only to your commitment to Christ.
For those who are single or dating, you have a freedom and liberty to find that person - the person you can commit to forever.
Here’s the really sad thing, my entire point…*winces*…can be summed up… I can’t do it…Oh God.
MyentirepointcanbesummedupbyoneofthosegoddamnedStarbuckscupquotes.
God help me.
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
– Anne Morriss
Starbucks customer from New York City. She describes herself as an “organization builder, restless American citizen, optimist.”